


Roast Turkey Corpse Party Day

by AradialSymmetry



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Gen, Thanksgiving
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-11-26
Updated: 2014-11-26
Packaged: 2018-02-27 03:32:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 954
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2677451
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AradialSymmetry/pseuds/AradialSymmetry
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Aradia is still an archaeologist at heart, and she's very excited to learn that humans have a holiday centered around turkey corpses! So excited, in fact, she rounds up her friends to plan a traditional Thanksgiving dinner.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Roast Turkey Corpse Party Day

**Author's Note:**

> Crossposted on [tumblr](http://aradial-symmetry.tumblr.com/post/103669073524/roast-turkey-corpse-party-day).

"Alright, the bread for the stuffing is in the oven! Aradia, would you be so kind as to go remove it, oh, 40 minutes in the future and then let it cool for a few hours?" Jane said, closing the oven door and wiping her brow with her arm.

"Of course!" Aradia replied, grinning and giving a thumbs-up. With a brief flash of light she disappeared, and then a moment later reappeared, holding a cookie sheet with three large loaves of bread on it. "Wow Jane, these smell delicious!"

"Why thank you! Time travel really does help around the kitchen, hoo hoo," Jane said, taking the loaves and setting them on a cutting board off to the side. "Roxy, could you get to cutting these up into cubes?" 

"Sure thing, Janey," Roxy headed over and grabbed a large knife. Before she started slicing, she turned to Aradia with a smile. "Y'know, it's really cute how you're organizing all of this! I wouldn't have expected a troll to be so into a random-ass human holiday." 

"Oh, but it's so exciting to learn about doomed cultures! I've always been into archaeology, you know," Aradia replied enthusiastically. She clasped her hands together and continued, "When I discovered that you guys celebrated Roast Turkey Corpse Party Day, I wanted to see what it was like! And it just so happened that if you follow the timelines along that today was the right day for it!" Aradia's wings fluttered with excitement as she spoke. 

"We call it Thanksgiving, you know. And I don't think I'd call us 'doomed', at least not totally, there's still eight of us left. Plus all of the time clones," Jane grumbled, turning to the next task. 

"Aww, I think Roast Turkey Corpse Party Day is a really cute name for it!" Roxy giggled. "And like, it's pretty fair to say most of our culture is doomed, really. Anyway some of us didn't have nice family Thanksgivings to remember! So I'm hella excited to see this go down, T. B. H." 

"Fair enough. 'Roast Turkey Corpse Party Day' it is. Aradia is the one wearing the thematically-appropriate hat, after all," Jane sighed, gesturing towards the stereotypical pilgrim hat that Aradia had nestled between her horns. She then turned away to go over her mental checklist of what needed to be done. "Okay, so, Jade and Calliope are in charge of the salads and vegetables and potatoes... Roxy and I are doing the stuffing and biscuits and pies... Karkat and Kanaya are managing the gravy and cranberry sauce... And Aradia, you and Porrim are cooking the... turkey corpses."

"Yep! I think it's going to be a wonderful party! I just went to the past to talk with Porrim and we're really excited about the turkey corpse recipes we found on your earth food blogs!" Aradia said, continuing to grin and flutter her wings in excitement. 

"Well, that's good. I think the two of you will be able to manage that. And if something goes wrong I guess you can just fix it with time shenanigans," Jane said, heading over to the refrigerator to grab some new ingredients. "Anyway, I think it's time to get started on the pumpkin pies." 

"Oh, yes, the pumpkin pies! I hear they're almost as important to the rituals as the turkey corpses!" Aradia said, walking over and poking at the orange gourds that Jane had put on the counter previously. "There's so much symbolism involved!" 

"Symbolism? In pumpkin pies? I mean, they're totes delish, but I don't think they symbolize anything really," Roxy paused her chopping to look at Aradia quizzically.

"Yes! Dave and Rose told me all about it," Aradia said, quickly going into storytelling mode. "Some human gamblignants that they called 'pilgrims' landed in a new world. And the humans who already lived there greeted them and they got along, until everyone's pumpkins started disappearing. That led to the Great Pumpkin War which lasted sweeps and sweeps, until finally they realized that tentacle monsters were transportalizing the pumpkins away! So the humans called for peace with each other, and started fighting the tentacle monsters instead. And they served pumpkin pies at the peace agreements and that's why they're so important!" Aradia finished her tale with a proud grin on her face.

"Ummm," Jane shot a dumbfounded look at Roxy, who just shrugged back. "You say that Dave and Rose told you this?" 

"Yes, of course! They're very helpful when it comes to talking about human culture! Dave will just go on and on telling you about so many cool things, and sometimes Rose adds in details he left out," Aradia said. 

"Yeahhh... About that," Roxy sighed. "Maaaaybe you should try asking someone else, too. That story sounds pretty ridic to me." 

"Oh, is that not what happened in your timeline? Maybe that was one of the divergences between the alpha and beta sessions of your universe!" Aradia pulled out a notebook to jot something down. 

"I kind of doubt it. Most likely they were just making that up," Jane rolled her eyes as she measured out flour for the pie crust. 

"Hmmm," Aradia pondered for a moment before perking up again. "Oh! I know! I can go to a dreambubble of a human who's remembering a Turkey Corpse Party celebration and see what they say! It might be a bit tricky but I think I can manage. I love adventures like that!" She grinned, and a moment later she'd swapped her pilgrim headgear for an explorer's hat, and uncaptchalogued a belt full of adventuring tools.

"Yeah, you do that," Roxy said, stifling a giggle. "But I think you should be focusing on those turkey corpses for now, shouldn't you?"


End file.
